“There’s been some talk in the audience about my pen this evening … that apparently my pen is, uh … the word they use: ‘cheapass’ … I have a cheapass pen …. uh, not appropriate … And I just wanted to point out that it looks cheap, there’s no question about that … But it’s made from pure Malaysian white tiger heroin. This pen alone … on the street … hundreds of thousands of dollars … And when I chew on it, it helps me to stop smoking.” — Jon Stewart.
