Retorts that I, tragically, have not had the opportunity to use #1:
“You have monkeys in your butt and on top of that they’re flying monkeys? Fantastic. National Geographic should do a special on these astounding creatures residing within one of your major orifices. Peter Coyote should narrate: ‘A new dawn breaks over {insert name}’s buttocks. A lone assmonkey crawls out and unfurls its wings, preparing to take to the skies … .'”
