Teh Sukc

Finding a NWN persistent world to settle in is proving to be a bit difficult. I’ll be the first to admit I’m perhaps a bit fussy about the environment I want to play in.

It has to be role-play heavy but it shouldn’t be too heavy to the extent that the game experience is reduced to sitting around listening to a bunch of humourless self-absorbed drama queens trading angst-ridden tales.

I’d like some action along with my role-playing. I’d like to be surrounded with memorable characters and immersed in memorable situations. A sense of humour is essential. I’d like to play with players who want to entertain as much as be entertained. And hey, let’s remember to take that +3 Rod of Seriousness out of our asses and always keep in mind the “game” aspect of “role-playing game.”

The ping rate is a bit of a problem. I know from experience that you’re simply asking for trouble if you play on a server that has a ping rate in excess of 500ms. I’ve had enough frustrating lags, random disconnections and possession bugs to last several lifetimes. That narrows down the list of choices pretty quickly.

Then there are the server requirements which need to be fulfilled. Some servers require a password which in turn requires registering with the server’s forum. Players might even be required to provide a detailed bio of the character they intend to play. I would not be surprised if players will soon have to provide their tax and health records for the past 10 years and then submit a thesis on the mating habits of dire badgers before they’re even considered for a spot on a multiplayer server.

All this hasn’t deterred me from looking for that one server I can settle in, though. When all the elements come together, the player mix is just right and the planets align just so, multiplayer NWN can provide a transcendent gaming moment and I’ll keep trying until that happens.

The server I tried today was disappointing. The character names were a big giveaway that the role-playing quotient would be a bit lacking.

I realise I shouldn’t be mocking character names since my own characters’ names are usually anagrams of my real name. In my defence, the anagrams sound pretty exotic to me. Besides, I’m just damned tired of those names derived from fantasy novels. But being derivative isn’t all that bad. Some of the names I saw on the server I played on today were highly original. They were also pretty damned stupid.

Case in point: Teh Sukc. No joke. Teh Sukc. It’s so bad that it’s … no, wait, it’s just so bad. There’s no possible way you could justify that name. It may sound Vietnamese but crucially, there are no records of any Vietnamese boat people landing in the Forgotten Realms. There was another character named Beast Butcher. It makes you wonder if he had siblings named Plant Butcher, Fish Butcher, Bird Butcher, etc. And what would possess someone to name their character _WarFANcH_? What’s with the weird capitalisation and the underscores? Did the server have, god forbid, multiple characters named Warfanch and this player needed to differentiate himself? (Don’t ask me how I know but I just know it’s a him. A 12-year-old him.)

Then there was this exchange by two players:

[Shout] hi@all
[Shout] omg hi2u2
[Shout] :p

I know I could be accused of having a +3 Rod of Seriousness up my ass but come on, there were so many things wrong about that.

The server was, all things considered, a bad experience. Teh Sukc-y even.

Here’s hoping I’ll have better luck tomorrow.